If you have been following this blog for some time, you may remember the post from August 27th titled "On Saying 'Goodbye' ". All of what I said there applies today...except this time, I am so very sorry to say, it is becoming a reality.
We had our visit with the oncologist this morning and he gave a long name to the type of lymphoma Bettie has. I don't remember the name...just the prognosis: "She has weeks. She is already in late stage 3 (of 4 stages) of a very aggresive type," Dr. Keech told us. "We'll make her comfortable and get hospice care to give you a hand."
It was the same feeling I had on Friday when Dr. Stephan sort of pre-conditioned me to this possibility with the news that it was lymphoma, but of unknown (at the time) type. Pre-conditioned or not, it is still a feeling like no other.
I've told our children. Dr. Keech gave Bettie the news. "This is what I'm paid for", he told me, so I let him go ahead. She took it calmly. I'm not sure she fully 'got it' at the time. But we've talked since, and we're both OK.
As I was bringing Bettie into the house, at noon, I was thinking "this may be the last time she ever rides in the car, the last time up the steps", etc., etc. I quickly realized that I could drive myself nuts with the sad thoughts. There's just no point in that. So, if you see me or talk to me, I'm not going to be someone you have to tiptoe around. I know I'm supported. Just treat me normal, and I'll try to be upbeat. After all, I've had 50 years with Bettie. Hard to top that!